I want to tell you, I want to scream it, I want to finally say it

All the things I’ve held in my head for so long, I want to say it. Out loud.

I want you to want to say them too.

I hope I make you as happy as you make me.

I’m scared you’ll tell me I’m crazy.

How could someone like you, look at me that way? I need a miracle.

I’m stuck with what to do? Tell you and risk it all, or silently suffer and keep falling?

Does writing about it even help? I don’t even know any more.

Feelings: kill them with fire.

It’s not just one thing for me, like it all too often is. it’s all the things. All of you.

You’re brilliant, motivated, passionate and driven.

You’re funny, witty, and cruel in the most sublime way.

You’re adorable and that smile hits me like a train.

You’re the perfect blend of everything I could want.

Best of all, you get things, the things that I could never speak of with anyone else.




Enjoy the journey.

It’s not about how far you get, or how long you’re out there or what place you come in. It’s that you started. It’s that you pushed, that you made the effort. It’s the passion that keeps you going strong day after day. Rain or shine and you’re still smiling. Enjoying the journey. Seeing the effects. Loving each moment.

Secrets. Uncertainty. Fascination.

The things we never say. The look that can say a thousand words, but words we may never say.

It’s complicated, messy and wrecked. I am wrecked.

What am I even doing? Things seems to be getting clearer for me. And then there you are.

It’s been a long, long time. There was him and also her. Where are you now? I’m not sure.

I’m so unsure of what I want right now, and yet….

And yet I’d like to get to know you better.

I’ll never say it. Maybe never. Maybe… someday.

“Complicated” is all you give me.

So I’ll just stay here, fascinated, smiling.


Cheers to new adventures

Always ask questions. don’t be afraid to wonder or find out the truth.

Always seek opportunity to have new experiences and learn new things.

Never settle.

Don’t be afraid to hear “No”. You’ll never know if you never try.

We always regret the chances we didn’t take, rarely we regret taking a chance when it’s presented.

Don’t give up. No matter what it is. Nothing is ever hopeless. Even if it’s not the outcome you may think, everything will work out in the end.

If you like someone, give them a smile. not just any smile the smile. And they’ll know. ;) Of course you could always just tell them.

Go places, see things, meet people and have the time of your life. Even if it’s with perfect strangers. Soak it in.

And last but not least…. if someone is acting as an anchor and dragging you down… cut em loose.


Watching Your Back in the Workplace

Do you ever feel like you have to watch your back at work? Call me naive but I’ve usually felt pretty comfortable where I work, up until recently.

Maybe I’m paranoid, maybe I’ve been watching too many legal dramas but I can feel something is up. Maybe it’s because I know I’ll be done soon since I’m going back to school in January (I haven’t announced it at work yet). Or maybe it’s because I have a tendency to get gut instincts when something is not right. No matter which one it is, I can still feel it. Talking in hush tones, the changing of conversation when I walk into the room, and the attitude of some co-workers. I know that there have been comments made about me to my employer, things that someone should just take up with me. ‘Co-worker A’ said that I “am always looking up the weather” on the internet. Which made me almost LOL in the middle of my annual staff review. First of all I live on an acreage out of town, so yes, naturally I check the weather, especially in the winter so I know what things are going to look like on the way home and it only takes me about 90 seconds. I rolled my car on my way to work last year because of bad roads so shove that in your pipe and smoke it. Secondly that same person ‘co-worker A’ has 10+ minute phone conversations with her sister, about NOTHING or gossiping, while at the front desk. *roll my freaking eyes* Like give me a damn break. I always feel like they’re out to get me…

I started at this job when I was nineteen. That was 5 years ago and a lot has changed. I have changed. They know me as a naive and quiet 19 year old and wouldn’t really stand up for herself. I’ve become someone totally different but I can’t be that person at my current job. I hope that makes sense. I really want to give them a piece of my mind, not in a disrespectful or rude way, but enough to get my point across.

I have one co-worker in particular, who is so in my business and so far up my ass, she’s pretty much coming out my mouth. I can’t stand it anymore. Anything that I’m taking care of or are responsible for, she comes and takes over. Or moves things around on my side of the desk or in the filing cabinet under my desk. I just want to scream “FUCK DIRECTLY OFF!” and “Don’t worry about what I’m doing, focus on yourself!”.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate my co-workers. Outside of work I think they’re all pretty decent people. I used to always thing everything was personal, but now I get it. It’s the damn office politics and I’m so sick of it. Even some of the shit my bosses pull. it really makes me roll my eyes. Aren’t we all adults, can’t we all just pull the sticks out of our asses and stop being so ridiculous?

Now maybe I have less patience because I know I’ll be done soon (end of December let’s go!), but I’m really getting fed up. The stress of it is pretty silly,I shouldn’t let it get to me. Instead of having a cigarette at the end of a crazy, hair-pulling day, I should go for a run and do more yoga. *deep breathe* It actually feels good just to rant about it on here.

My advice, and the advice I plan to follow when I start school and get into my new career is: stand up for yourself and don’t take bullshit. Also: Not everyone who gets you into shit is your enemy and not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.


Health and Fitness App Recommendations

Nowadays there’s an app for everything, however, not all apps are created equal. I’ve tried out quite a few over and here are a few that I really love and actually use on a regular basis.


1. MyFitnessPal

I’m sure most of you have heard of this one before. It’s a way to track your eating and exercise all in one. It gives you a suggestion of daily caloric intake and keeps track of where you are at for the day. There is a HUGE database of food, just search the name like… “Kraft Creamy Poppyseed dressing” for example. I honestly waited way to long before getting this app. I thought tracking my food would be terrible and that I would hate it… It turns out I actually really enjoy it! It keeps you accountable and you really pay attention more to what you’re putting in your body. Best of all, it’s FREE! :D

2. GorillaWorkout

This is a handy app I use quite frequently. You choose your level of fitness from 1-4 and then it will give you a circuit to do based on that. They generally only take about 15 minutes to do, but really get your heart rate up and your muscles working! Great to mix things up or if you’re in a hurry! They are all body weight exercises, meaning you don’t need any equipment to do these. There are also over 40 exercises all with video demonstrations if you’re unsure what to do. :o Also FREE!

3. Yoga Studio

Yoga is such a great thing. If you’ve never tried it, you really should. This is one of my favourite apps. It’s only $3.99 and totally worth it. There are lots of pre-made yoga routines on here, over 60 if I’m not mistaken, all fully voiced over with video. You can also build your own with the sound/video clips to really personalize your workout. So easy to do anywhere and always handy if you get it on your phone or tablet. Must check this one out!

4. Instant Heart Rate

Surprisingly accurate and FREE!! Just place your finger over the camera lens and in a few seconds BAM! You have your heart rate. It even has a way to label them (is. Exercising, resting, just woke up, etc) I keep it handy on my phone to use during and after my workouts, or even if I’m feeling stressed :P


I hope this helps you in your fitness routine. Enjoy and happy sweating! <3 If you have any app recommendations for me, please send them over!